Media In the Age of Corona: Growing Pains in Art Criticism 3

     As many of us are experiencing a surplus of free time due to Everything Going On, we are consuming many pieces of media that we may have not had time for before. This new way of being has led me to a few thoughts/re-examinations of how I consume what I consume, and my relationship with media in general.

    For one, I feel that I (if not many other people) feel a compulsion to consume as much media/content as possible. I find myself feeling as though I need to watch every new film, listen to every possible album I may enjoy, play every game that may seem to push the medium forward, or binge every new show that may strike my interest. At its worst it, feels like a sickness, or an addiction. Compounded with this is the fact that I've began to take art criticism more seriously for around a decade or so. I've tried to make more of a point to not just interact with media on a visceral but to think about its construction or analyze its themes as well. Add to that the ADDITIONAL fact that I've had a healthy diet of film and game criticism I've been reading during that same decade, which has had a major influence on how I consume and think about art, and how I think it should be discussed.

     All of these issues swirl together and manifest as part of the anxiety that is the background radiation of my life. I have this blog, I have my creative ambitions regarding what I want to talk about, and I have this sense of vague expectations I put upon myself regarding all of these things.

     "I should write a lot more. I have all these thoughts and I should express them."

     "Ok, I'll write an article a week. That should be easy." 
   
     "What do I actually have to contribute to the conversation on this? Is there anything else that should be contributed?"

     "I HAVE to watch/play this thing so I can be part of the conversation."

     In feeling all of this, I feel awash within a sea of choices: choices in what to consume, what to say, and how I feel. Even saying all of this, I don't think I've accurately expressed this feeling. It's an unease. It's a discontent. It's a fear of saying too much and not saying enough. It's the fear that I'm wasting my time and I have nothing to say, or worse, that I'm speaking to hear myself speak.

     I don't know what to do with this. So, I push through. I watch movies, play games, read criticism, keep thinking about the things I'm consuming, and try to do it all in the spirit of wanting to encourage people to think about the art they consume and how they relate to it. I just worry that I'm doing it more for myself than for everyone else.